A New Haven man has written to CT Viewpoints in defense of his then-girlfriend’s pill abortion, his role in it, and abortion in general. I don’t know if he intended for it to run just before Fathers’ Day, but it was a tasteless editorial decision to say the least.
Josiah Brown writes, “Men are free-riders, insulated from criticism of abortion. Men are also among the most vocal critics, denouncing women for controlling their own bodies.” Allow me to prove that testosterone is not necessary to criticize abortion. I’ve confronted some of the most powerful pro-abortion men in Connecticut, alone — not to toot my own horn, it’s just that you learn to get over fear quickly when it sinks in that innocent lives depend on it. Let’s see if Mr. Brown, having gone public, can take criticism like a man.
Before I continue, I feel compelled to offer my condolences to Brown’s then-girlfriend, wherever she may be. Regardless of what I think of her actions, what transpired that fateful weekend at her apartment after taking misoprostol cannot have been a pleasant experience.
Brown is the one who wrote in, though, and his op-ed has it all: personal experience; internalized man-guilt; Guttmacher statistics; Planned Parenthood’s self-serving official line on the AP’s recent report about decreasing abortion rates; a reference to NARAL’s not-so-“pro-choice” attack on life-affirming pregnancy resource centers; quotes from the late Mario Cuomo; birth control and sex ed-pushing; and the classic cop-out expression “reasonable people can differ” about the taking of innocent human life.
The unacknowledged reality is that men already have more than an equal vote in opting for abortion even if they never say a word. If I accept as true that women earn 78% of what men earn (Connecticut is right in line with that figure), the implicit threat of the man voting with his feet has huge implications. Furthermore, men’s (generally) greater size, upper body strength, and aggression make threats of violence all the more credible. As I’ve written before, we know that homicide is a leading cause of death among pregnant women, and the baby is often smack in the middle of motive.
“There can be disagreements between prospective mothers and fathers. Overall, though, men gain from [abortion],” writes Brown. No kidding. One such ‘disagreement’ led to Shamari Jenkins being murdered by her boyfriend’s hit man, a jury found. I don’t imagine people hire hit men unless they think they have something to gain. I would love, love, love to see a study of how many men are killed by their girlfriends for being pro-life.
We could speculate all day about what Brown has gained. One thing he did not gain was for that relationship to last. Color me shocked, but they’re not together anymore.
Brown speaks of vigil-keepers at an abortion clinic in his neighborhood, claiming they’re mostly men, and says he’s been to pro-abortion marches. I challenge him right now to attend 2016’s March for Life –why not, even for curiosity’s sake? Anybody can just stay in their own backyard– and report on what he sees. Seven months’ advance notice isn’t shabby at all.
I also wonder what has made Brown such a birth control evangelist, when he writes, “We were not naïve teens but rather adults, users of contraception that failed.” What, you mean to tell me that a couple of sophisticated grownups didn’t get this right? I’m sorry to inform Brown that he is another Guttmacher statistic — and of all the ones to neglect including: over half of women getting abortions were using contraception the month they became pregnant.
These days, Brown writes, he’s a parent. Good for him. I think (hope?) deep down, somewhere, he knows he was a parent in 2004, too. Repressed grief, particularly abortion grief, can do strange things to people; denial and defensiveness are possible ways of coping. Maybe that’s what we’re seeing in this piece — or not. Perhaps Brown truly rests easy. If it is a defense mechanism, though, it’s one that is really difficult to maintain forever. If the walls ever fall, there may be a chance for true healing to pour in.
We can’t say enough that there is such healing for men who regret lost fatherhood. Who knows how many out there are suffering, invalidated by abortion cheerleading in media and culture, feeling like nobody would understand? Somebody does understand. Give them a tremendous Father’s Day gift and help us share that message today.
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